Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Cinderfella: the lost bootie

Parker and I had to go to the grocery store yesterday to get something for dinner. It was only 4:30 but it was already getting dark and dropping in temperature. I dressed him in a Gap fleece jumpsuit, a hat, and booties (my favorite ones, the ones that don't come off).

We get into the store and I am lifting him into the cart when I realize he only has one bootie on. Damn it! I have a mini debate in my head about going back outside to look for it vs. going shopping and then checking the parking lot. I decided to go back out first and look for it (see prior statement: my favorite ones, the ones that don't come off infrequently). We walk all the way back to the car, no bootie.

So we go back inside, and even though it looks crazy, I leave that other bootie on.

Why, you may ask? Because if I leave one on then people will know that at some point he had both on and they won't think I'm the mom who brings her kid out without shoes on. I am very paranoid about this because of my recent interaction with Target lady.

Maybe you can guess where this is going? Parker refuses to have the other bootie on his foot, so he takes it off.

Oh God, what do I do? Put the one bootie back on? Surely I can't put it in the diaper bag...people will definitely think I took him out without shoes.

I decide on giving it to Parker to chew on. Then people might see why he isn't wearing them.

This works for maybe a minute before he throws it on the ground. Fine. I decide to just put the stupid shoe in the bag and get the hell out of the store.

OH NO! I forgot the onion and bell pepper. ffffffffffff.

So I quickly go to the produce section and this mother of 2 boys comes up to Parker. FFFFFFFF. "Aww look at you riding in the cart like a big boy!"

I'm still suspicious of her true intentions....I know for sure she is dying to say something about his feet. So I start word vomiting. And I can't stop.

"I had booties on him when we left. Lost one on the way inside. Don't know where it is. He won't keep the other one on, see? Here it is! People keep coming up to me and telling me he isn't dressed appropriately." At this point, I'm burning I'm so embarrassed. But I just can't shut up. This poor woman is looking at me like I'm a crazy person.

So I finally stop talking and give this really nervous laugh. Bless this woman...she replies with a story of her own. She tells me that when her son was a baby they were sitting in the ER waiting room and her son had a poopsplosion with blowout. She forgot an extra outfit and had to debate which was worse...having her son wear a poop covered outfit or be naked. She opted for naked. She said all she had to cover him with was a burp rag and she got tons of looks like she was crazy.

I fell in love. "Umm so I know this is really weird, but can I get your number?"

Haha jk...I'm not that creepy.

No comments:

Post a Comment