Sunday, February 5, 2012

reasons why physicians make bad parents

We all know that physicians (and pretty much all health care professionals) make bad patients. I'd venture to say that most people who go into the field of medicine have some degree of mental illness, not the least frequent of which is narcissistic personality disorder. This leads to a lot of discomfort letting someone else tell you what's wrong with you...and a lot of self misdiagnosis and self mistreatment. 

Not to offend all the mothers out there, but in a similar sense, we all think we know more than our pediatricians at some point or another. ("I know my kid needs antibiotics....his snot is GREEN!") I am no exception to the rest of you moms out there.

For comparable can't-get-rid-of-my-personality-disorder reasons, physicians make bad parents.

Reasons why:

1. I've considered the possibility that my son is autistic numerous times. He is 9 months old.

2. I thought it possible that my son's lack of babbling at almost 8 months was due to a hearing problems (and/or autism).

3. I encourage turn a blind eye to my son to putting things of very questionable cleanliness in his mouth. This has included: the arm rest on an airplane seat, the bottom surface of shoes (some of which my husband has worn to work in the hospital), cat vomit (this one I did not turn a blind eye to), the toilet seats in our apartment, cat name it, and it's probably been in Parker's mouth. And I've probably had a very high threshold for removing it.

4. My husband and I have WAY too high of a threshold for taking Parker in to the emergency room. An example: today Parker was gagging on something that he put in his mouth that he retrieved from under the coffee table. When I dug it out of his mouth, it was a small piece of foil from a pill package. I am not sure, but I think it was part of a package that Benadryl comes in. Normal parents would have taken their kid in to be evaluated for a) possible ingestion of an adult dose drug, and b) possible ingestion of a plasticky foily package with potentially sharp edges. Tim and I decided on the "wait and see" treatment (disclaimer: I do not recommend this method). We decided we would take him in if he started acting weird or he had blood coming out of any of his orifices. So far so good.

5. I've called my pediatrician's office asking for specific prescriptions to be called in without an office evaluation. Including medications that Parker had never received in the past.

6. It makes me really angry when I am in the pediatrician's waiting room and another parent keeps complaining to the secretary that people are going before them and they were "waiting there first." More than one doctor works in the office people. Some patients are there for a nurse visit. Relax. It's not the first time you've been in a waiting know it takes forever, for all of us.

7. I think every issue with illness can be handled via a phone call to my pediatrician's office.  And by "every issue" I mean I've called twice.

8. I give my kid Ibuprofen way too liberally. ("Oh, poor baby, do you have a tooth coming in? Are you in pain? Are you just acting like a little shit?" Ibuprofen!)

9. I plot Parker's growth curve at every well-child check.

10. I saved the inflammatory one for the last. I am a very liberal person when it comes to how people raise their children, but I have one exception. I can't stand it when parents don't vaccinate their children. I've seen kids die of meningococcal meningitis before and I've seen several babies hospitalized for influenza. Since the chances of a complication occuring with a vaccine are much lower than the chances of a child having a potentially life-threatening complication due to a preventable disease, I think it's just COMMON SENSE to vaccinate your kids.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness, I think working in healthcare makes me a worse human being in general. I'm so bad about this stupid ankle issue I have and REFUSE to go to an orthopod. Also, I correct people randomly about things that I think should be common sense (For example, I corrected the instructor in spin class who had us do a "hip flexor stretch." No, that's actually stretching your piriformis. Your hip flexors are tightened during this stretch.) I can't even IMAGINE how bad I'll be as a mom.

    But #10 on your list made me smile. Hell to the yes.