Most of the time, the fact that I have a child is very surreal. You might think that 40 weeks of pregnancy and 9 months of " look mom! I'm a real-live-boy" is enough time for me to wrap my head around this fact, but it's been slow to set in. It's not that I haven't enjoyed (almost) every minute of having Parker in my life, because I have. It's just been weird for me to suddenly have my life revolve around a person who isn't myself. Parker wasn't a planned pregnancy, so this may be why it's been less instant for me than for most.
[Sidenote: When Parker was first born, I had a lot of people say to me, "Have you ever thought you could love someone so much?" I think these people need a serious lesson in the baby blues (which more than 70% of women experience) and postpartum depression (also VERY common). Loving a baby (beyond the obligatory, this is my child, love), for me, is just like loving anyone else. The relationship takes time to develop, and you have to get to know each other first. It should be a give (and give, give, give, give) and take kind of thing. If you have that instant magic love for your newborn, that is AWESOME. But you're not a monster if it takes a little time!!]
This morning I had a moment that made me feel like a "real" mom.
You may picture me taking my son to play with friends. Or us taking a stroll in the park. Or me happily tossing Parker up in the air, in the middle of a meadow, while butterflies flit about us and a double rainbow in the sky circles our heads.
My mom moment involved nothing more complex than oatmeal.
I discovered the other day that Parker likes oatmeal. Adult oatmeal, with texture and everything. So this morning, I doubled the serving size that I normally eat so he (and I) could both have some. When it was ready to eat, I poured it into one bowl, and grabbed two spoons: one baby and one adult. Then I sat him in my lap and we ate it together while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (or was it Baby Einsteins? It was early, I can't remember).
I am not really sure what was so profound about this MOMent (couldn't resist), but I think it was the fact that he was sitting in my lap (and not in his high chair) and we were sharing food. It was so sweet. I thought to myself, now this is something I'll actually miss (along with baby laughs and nakie babies).